I just met a girl.
Ah, he just met a girl... we all do that, right?
A long, and quite a complicated story. I think this is the first time I write while I'm tipsy. It sure is a funny feeling.
I can say I liked her. And I can say nothing at all.
I can say I felt like kissing her. And I can say I felt I may not be right.
I felt...
I was looking for a kindrid spirit. Did I found one?
Should I do, I don't even know what, now, or should I wait, I don't know what for.
The fear of being rejected.
Maybe I just want us to be friends. I'm not sure. Maybe I want us to be more. I don't know.
What is it that I want? Do I want what she wants? Will I accept 'no' for an answer?
Will I let her dominate, like she likes, and like I know I'd like as well?
Will she read this lines and understand? Do I want that? Are you reading this, dear?
Life is full of questions. Some remain unanswered, some resolve to something else.
What was it, that I found so attracting in her?
Can I say I love her? But I love everyone. Everyone I know and love, at least. The irony in here is so obvious...
Should I say I love her, this is the question. Or moreover, do I love her?
Is it to early to talk about such things as love?
Would I like to please her? Yes, I would.
Would I like to make her happy? Yes, I would.
Would I like her to know about it? Yes, I don't know.
Am I making a fool of myself and destroying the chanse, even a slight one, a chanse I'm not even sure of who's exsistance, by writing this?
Do I want to be loved? Yes, doesn't everyone? But 'everyone' is not a measure for me. They never were.
Do I want to love? Yes, and I love. Who I love, that's a totaly diferent question.
I know I like her mind. I know I like her spirit. I know I like her lips...
Is it enough???
"Gee!", as they say, I guess it all comes back to one question. Is it, already, now, the right time to ask? Or maybe, it is not now, and I should wait?
But if the asnwer will be 'no', isn't it beter to ask, and know now, than to wait and hope for something unachievble?
Or can it be acomplished?
Confusion...? Or maybe I just want to be 'comfortably numb'?
13.4/2001
